A Positive Attitude is Overrated

One of the podcasts I listen to is NPR:This I Believe. It is a wonderful series that offers essays written by your average everyday person. This week, I really enjoyed this essay. I discovered while looking for the link to this essay, that if you want to simply read the essays (or add the site to your google reader) and not download to a iPod, you can do so right from the website! Check it out!

This essay was an excellent essay for me to hear at this time in my life. I’ve been struggling for awhile now, trying to be positive about where I am, wondering where I am going in life.

Having been unemployed for ten months can certainly lead one to depression. I have combated depression by diving into my creative side, taking up knitting and weaving. It has worked for the most part. I’ve been so involved in the items I am creating that I haven’t allowed total depression to get the best of me. Everyone, including myself, tell you to remain positive and positive things will happen. I’ve outwardly been very positive regarding my career search. Inside, it is a different story.

I believe those that know me would say that I am a strong, centered woman. And overall, I agree with that statement. However, even the strongest most centered person can be consumed with fear. I think that fear is the hardest emotion to deal with. I’m more fearful as of late, as I know that I often get a little down, as the daylight lesson in the fall and head into winter. I’m much more consumed with fear about being depressed than I am about finding the right job for me. I know that I will find a job. I also know that winter depression is right around the corner. <sigh>

I’m not sure why I am sharing all this here on my blog. I guess I just needed to write down my thoughts today. If you stuck with me this far, thanks for listening!

Lots of knitting has been going on. I finished the June Carter shawl, it is now blocking. Hats, scarves, fingerless mits, wallets are amongst my recently finished objects. I’ll try to get the camera out and take some pictures.

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2 responses to “A Positive Attitude is Overrated

  1. I too know what it is like to be lost…hang in there! You will find yourself before too long! 🙂 Crafting DOES help!!
    I can’t wait to see your finished projects~they sound beautiful!
    Bethany~

  2. I, too, know exactly of what you speak. Depression and anxiety I’ve lived with my whole life and I also have borderline personality disorder. It doesn’t just go away with positive thoughts.

    If I may say, you should not feel that your husband helping to support all of your family is asking for help. Over the years, couples vacillate with how much they contribute (at least most need two jobs to survive a lot of their lives) and all the money belongs to the whole family. We all have to lean on each other at times.

    I, too, am in a major change of my life. Take things a day at a time, or even a minute at a time. When I was extremely depressed I had to take things a minute at a time.

    You can get there. Take it easy.

    loraine alias simra on Ravelry 🙂

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