Top five: What’s Bumming me out

1. I miss my sons. I am so very happy for them, but I miss them more than I ever thought I could. I guess I never knew how much empty nest syndrome could bum a Mom out. I think I’ll spend some time today searching on empty nest syndrome.  The good news is I will be going to Colorado to visit them both for a weekend visit in a few weeks.

2. Career search/change. I believe part of the reason this is so difficult for me is that once a prospective employer looks at my resume, and sees the 18 years of IT experience, much of it at the management level, they put my resume aside, thinking “why would this person want a lessor position?” I’m not sure how to combat this issue. I’m proud of the work I have done. I just don’t want to do that type of work any longer. Without a face to face meeting, this is very difficult to get across in a cover letter.

Certainly I am not the first person to burn out in a career and desperately seek a new path. Any thoughts/ideas are welcome!

3. Being financial dependent on someone else. I’ve provided for myself all my working life. I’m not comfortable asking for financial help from anyone, including my husband. This is by far my only regret to making the “find a new career” move last December.

4. Lack of daily interaction with people besides my husband and step son. For the reasons above and this reason, I fear I will take any job just to get out. Although, I have turned down a few jobs which I realized would not be positions that would make me a happy long term. And I am determined to only accept a position that I can see myself enjoying for many years to come. It took me nearly a year to exit my last position, I don’t want to find myself stuck again.

5. The fires in California are really bumming me out. I don’t personally know anyone in the area. However, I am truly sad that so many people are being forced from their homes and many are losing their homes.

Whew. It really is empowering to write down your thoughts. Even it they are your top five reasons for being bummed!


4 responses to “Top five: What’s Bumming me out

  1. I’d like to offer some advice to you on several of your points.
    1. Having been a head hunter for a few years you can on your cover letter express your desire for a career change/shift. You can clearly state that you are looking to enhance/expand your working knowledge to a different field.
    2. Give yourself time to cope with the loss of employment and empty nest, both are really big steps. You kids growing up is a process and you will need time to adjust.
    3. Since you find yourself with some time why don’t you volunteer somewhere, this will offer some interaction and get you out of the house and networking with other people. Maybe you can take a class on something you’ve been interested in but didn’t have the time to do so.
    4. Don’t feel the financial pressure as if your a burden, you have contributed to your financial status and will again. I’m sure your husband doesn’t even think of it the way you do, what would you do if he lost his job, or needed a sabattical? Then of course you would do the same for him, it’s the beauty of marriage, the constant give and take.

    I hope some of this will encourage you. I will be praying for you.


  2. you will have one of your sons with you soon enough! we are going to have so much fun this weekend. I cant wait to see you, and all your new projects!!!
    i have been wearing that poncho lately, I’ve been getting way too many compliments (if thats possible)
    hang in there Tamara, as the band that have had such a big impact on your sons say:

    Gonna pick myself up off the ground
    When that old feeling comes around again
    I’ve had enough of feeling down
    There’s something I’ve lost that must be found again

    Sometimes it seems like such a hard life
    But there’s good times around the bend
    The rollercoaster’s got to roll to the bottom
    If you want to climb to the top again – String Cheese Incident

  3. I think you should come for a visit and go bar hopping with me.

  4. I searched for the phrase “empty nest” and found your blog.

    I’m dealing with a newly empty nest, having just sent my only child off to college. One of the ways I’m coping is by blogging. I try to inject a little bit of humor into the sadness I’m still feeling, and share resources for other parents of college students. I hope you’ll check it out.

    The Empty Nest

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